Erik Qualman’s book, Digital
Leader, outlines that there needs
to be focus on an overall goal to achieve personal success. These goals should
be set so high that they are considered “laughable” to others. When it comes to
wedding planning, there are so many things to accomplish before the “big day” that
the bride might want to delete her inspiration boards and walk down to City
Hall for a quick “I do”.
According to Qualman,
“Having a huge goal inspires us mentally and physically to overcome the hurdles
and obstacles that we will encounter along our path”(p.178). According to the New York Daily News, the average of cost of a wedding is $27,000 in the United States. If a bride’s goal is to have a wedding under $10,000, it can be done. Websites such as The Frugal Girl, Wedding Bee, and Pinterest have several do it yourself (DIY) ideas
to help make every bride’s wedding their dream day at a fraction of the cost. “Opportunities
are even more limitless and accessible now that we can leverage tools like
YouTube, Twitter, iPad applications and more to make things happen, and happen
quickly” (Qualman, p.184).
Becoming a digital leader
is the new age of wedding planning and even more so the new age of wedding
saving. For example, there is a free app available for iPhone and Android users
that allows guests at a wedding to take pictures and save them to the same
album. The amount of photos that can be posted is limitless and still free. The
cost of a photographer is cut and a wedding on a budget is more attainable!
Having a clear vision of
goals is very important to ensuring that a wedding will be everything it was
dreamt to be and not at a laughable cost. After all, according to Worldometers,
there are over seven billion people in the world. Out of seven billion people, we find one person to spend the rest of our lives
with. All of a sudden a $10,000 budget doesn't seem so laughable anymore.
Goldwert, L. (2012, March 23). Average U.S. wedding costs $27,000!! Manhattan brides spend the most to get married - NY Daily News. Daily News America - Breaking national news, video, and photos - Homepage - NY Daily News. Retrieved February 12, 2013, from http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/average-u-s-wedding-costs-27-000-manhattan-brides-spend-married-article-1.1049836
Qualman, E. (2012). Digital Leader. USA: The McGraw Hill Companies.
Worldometers - real time world statistics. (n.d.). Worldometers - real time world statistics. Retrieved February 11, 2013, from http://www.worldometers.info/
I thought the chapter on setting laughable goals was the most interesting of the readings this week. I really think the subject of your blog captures the spirit of setting lofty goals because, as you said, this is the one person you will spend the rest of your life with. Presumably, you do this once so why not do it right…right? So, the question I would ask is when does the laughable goal truely become laughable? When does “doing it right” cross the line to being insane? Using your wedding example, is it when the cost gets to $20K, $30K…. Do the laughable goals need to fit within a framework of something that truly isn’t laughable only to become truly laughable when it goes outside of the framwork? Or, should no goal be laughable and we should all effectively shoot for the stars.
ReplyDeleteI also found this chapter's reading to be the most interesting out of the four listed. I really like the Digital Leader's book and found myself reading on and on throughout the chapters.
DeleteWhen it comes to wedding planning, there are many laughable goals that can be set. Whether it is finding the "one", or trying to plan a wedding on a minimum wage salary, there are many instances where a bride might crack at her own "laughable" goals.
With the use of social media, wedding planning has become more hands-on for the bride more so than ever before. For this reason, I focused this week's blog on the bride planning the wedding rather than on a wedding planner company. Afterall, this blog is about wedding planning on social media.
As a bride, I am not using a wedding planner. Rather, I have a timeline and checklist that I can easily access through my laptop, iPhone or iPad. However, does that necessarily make wedding planning easy or am I crazy to plan this wedding while working full time and completing my Master's degree full time? Some may consider this piled plate "insane". I consider it "Tuesday".
Whenever there are difficult-to-attain goals, there are opinions and advice that may not positively influence the achievement of the goal. No matter how crazy times may get with jam-packed days, I know that I will be laughing my way across the stage when I get my diploma! ...I seem to think that this is more acceptable than laughing like a crazy person down the aisle at my wedding!
I really like your shoot for the stars attitude. It's one that I try to live by and teach my kids. Do you think, however, there is a point of diminishing returns where you just have to face it...the goal really is laughable and not attainable? And if you decide it is not attainable do you re-set the expectation to try to attain a smaller measure of the original goal or do you shoot for a different laughable goal?
DeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post. I think a wedding under $10,000 is quite laughable to many people. I know the three weddings I was in this past year were not under that. Using social media to help out in cutting costs is a fabulous idea. I never knew about the app that allows people to take pictures for you, which is a great idea. I have heard of friends researching DIY ideas for center pieces and decoration ideas, many of them turning to Pinterest.
I don’t think many people know they actually have laughable goals. Like you mentioned, there are seven billion people in the world and many of them expect to find that one person to spend the rest of their life with and some people do. Whenever a goal is set and odds are not in your favor or people would “scoff” at you, I think how much more I want to achieve that goal.
I also think that laughable goals are laughable depending on who you are and who you are telling. If I told you some of my goals you would not think they are laughable but then telling my sister the same goal she may think it is laughable.
I don’t mind too many goals “laughable I think they are just harder to reach and the average goals most people set. What do you think?
Hi Christine,
DeleteI have to agree with you. Throughout this program, I am taking on the tasks of completing the IMC Master's degree full time, while planning a wedding, working full time and moving into a new home with my fiance. Sure, there are times when I ask myself, "Are you crazy?!", but most of the time, busy days are seen as mountains that need to be climbed. Once those seemingly "laughable" busy days are over, I know that there is a reason for this insane goal of achieving several life changing events at once.
There will always be people who disgruntle the thought of certain goals. Growing up, we probably heard that these people are "jealous". While that might be the case, it is important to forge forward with your goal and dream in mind. Who cares if it is laughable to somebody else? If it is something that matters to you, then that is all that matters.
I have several goals set for myself that I may never reach. However, I will not stop reaching for them regardless of what others say. By this stage of the game, if you know what makes you happy, go for it!
There is only one person in this world who can make your decisions and live your life. It's you.
Hi Amanda-
DeleteLove, love, love your post. As previously stated I am not in the process of wedding planning...yet. And not to jump the gun, but it is very possible that I will be soon. As one who is usually 2-3 steps ahead of where I should be, I have begun to pay attention to how much aspects of a wedding cost. And to be honest, it gave me sticker shock.
What I think is laughable is that people spend over $10,000 on a wedding! Part of me feels that it is due to recent popular shows such as platinum weddings and say yes to the dress. But maybe another big part of this focus on big, lavish weddings comes from social media. People can instantly post pictures of their big event. Better yet, they can publish their wedding planning every step of the way. Their followers then may desire to do the same, regardless of the cost, because it turned out so wonderful. And smart wedding related businesses are then capitalizing on is. Thus, the idea of having an affordable wedding is, laughable.
But I think you made a good point about setting goals. If you have a $10,000 budget, you will need to set goals of which are the most important things you'd like to spend it on. Something that are important to others will not matter to you. And if you choose to use the linens provided by your catering hall instead of ordering specific ones to match your color scheme, who cares! It's your day, not anyone elses.
Hi Kate,
DeleteTo be honest, I was suprised to see that the average wedding cost $27,000 in the U.S. (this is laughably low to me). However, the article did say that weddings are more expensive in the NYC area than anywhere else. Am I justifying myself?
The list of vendors that are part of a wedding are endless. We had a very difficult time finding a photographer that we liked in our price range.
We are so fortunate to have found our photographer, Jeremy Wood, from JCWood Photography. He is an up and coming photographer with a great eye for captured moments. I am pretty sure that if we were to book him a couple years from now, he would be able to charge us an arm and a leg for his services. Check out his website: www.jcwoodphotography.com. He has some great shots on there and I highly recommend him! You may even see a shot of me & my fiance =P
Before we booked Jeremy, I had been asking everybody I knew if they had any photographers in mind. I had received responses that other brides paid "laughable" amounts (what I would consider high amounts), but their photographs were gorgeous! I almost gave up hope of finding a photographer that I loved in our price range, but I was set to sticking to our budget as close as I could. Luckily, one of my colleagues put me in contact with our photographer.
My point is, my set budget for vendors may be "laughable" to other brides, but their budget may be "laughable" to me. Like you said, the only opinion that matters is the opinion of the bride and the groom. It's their wedding afterall!
By the way - if & when you get engaged, if you need any tips or advice aside from this blog, feel free to reach out to me. I'll help out in anyway I can =)
Your story about finding a photographer has made me ponder a few things. Social media sites make it fairly easy for individuals to create pages that promote their brand/service/product. So with some research, one might be able to find a well-trained photographer who is just starting out in the wedding business. Therefore, the individual may be eager to gain some clients and could offer lower priced options. Of course, it would require research on behalf of the bride/groom to find these gems, and then request a trial run (say an engagement shoot) to test out their work. But the ROI could be worth it: beautiful wedding photos at an affordable price. The relationship then could be mutually beneficial: the coupe gets great memories and photos and the photographer could get a great client testimonial and examples to publish of their work. But essentially picking an unknown photographer could be deemed "laughable" to some!
DeleteNo kidding! There is a wedding website called WeddingWire.com where there are TONS of reviews from brides on vendors. Afterall, referrals are the best compliment, right?
DeleteEvery now and again I find myself laughing at my own "laughable" goals. If I don't laugh at myself sometimes, I may go crazy!
H Amanda. It is so easy to set your wedding goals very high, but then become very disappointed to when you can't reach them. I think it is a much bigger challenge to set your "high" goals at a low cost. A bride on a budget (lets face it, we're all on a budget) has to meticulously define her goals and strategize the game plan (just like an organization's communication and social media plan). Setting a clearly defined goal will hold you accountable and motivate you to stick with it.
ReplyDeleteKate makes a good point above regarding social media and the trend of large, expensive weddings! Everyone posts wedding pictures to Facebook and Instagram immediately and all of your friends and their friends, etc. etc. can see them. If a bride feels like her wedding is on display and is pressured to meet others' expectations, her expectations may grow as well (even if she's unaware). The Knot and Pinterest also feed into this. There are so many "inspiration" pictures and a bride wants it all. And again, she feels pressured to post her amazing wedding pictures on the boards she frequented during the planning process.
Hi Courtney, I 100% agree that there are outside pressures which are almost "imaginary" pressures. There are so many ideas that are shared through social media, but with every ying is there a yang? For example, I love the photos of the giant centerpieces on Pinterest - absolutely LOVE them! However, at $175 a piece and 23 tables at the wedding, do I really LOVE them THAT much? No, not really. Sorry Pinterest & Instragram, I cannot fall into your bouquets of beautiful centerpieces!!!
DeleteI think that every bride tries to make her big day perfect for her, but also perfect for the guests. However, something I knew but realized even more so in the last year is that everybody has an opinion and 99.9% of the time, people say that they would do something differently. Whether the bridesmaids are wearing long or short dresses or they would rather get married on a beach rather than in a park, everybody has their own opinions about what a "perfect" wedding would be like. There are opinions all the way down to the font type on invitations - it gets a little crazy. So my words of advice to any wedding planning brides who are using social media are - Do what makes you and your fiance happy. Everybody will have a different opinion than whatever you choose anyway.
So true, Amanda. Everyone has an opinion about your wedding. You just have to gently remind them that its YOUR wedding. But you do have to remember that when you are sharing wedding details on Pinterest or any other site, you are essentially inviting others to join in the planning process, friends and strangers alike. And with all that sharing going on, brides are bound to get a little competitive.
ReplyDeleteAll in all though, I think social media is a great wedding planning tool, especially when on a budget. Plenty of other brides and grooms have experience with a small wedding budget and social networking is definitely the place to go for advice. I've seen brides sell other brides their gently used dresses and decorations. These things get used for one day! So why not connect with other brides, share your story and help them out in any way your can.
Well ladies, it's time for me to set my own laughable wedding goals! Considering I got engaged yesterday, these ideas and resources have taken on a whole new meaning! But I'm so glad I get to learn about these resources and suggestions during my wedding planning stages!
ReplyDelete